Learning to Survive and Thrive

MaDear and Dad were my first mentors and teachers. I’m grateful to them for their wisdom, nurturing guidance, and for teaching us our history. MaDear and Dad were both Christians, intelligent, hard workers, and ethical. They helped develop my value system and helped me build a solid foundation early in life. I was on the way to reaching my full potential. They knew my siblings and I would make mistakes and experience failure, challenges, and setbacks. The difference is when we did; we knew we had to evaluate the consequences of our actions and make better choices. Building a solid foundation is a long process and takes patience. You must be willing to put in the work!

Dad was considered an educated man in the towns we lived in. His eleventh grade education was higher than most of the non -professional black and white people. He did not choose for his family to live in poverty. After moving back to Mississippi, he knew his farm knowledge was limited; therefore, he continued to seek employment opportunities. It was difficult for him, because he had to compete with white men who were struggling to feed their families. In spite of having a skill, he was not the one chosen for the company jobs. He and MaDear stressed the value of education and made sure we went to school. Dropping out of school was not an option. If we didn’t go to college, we had to go to trade school. We couldn’t say we would quit school and work in the fields. They wanted a better life for us and were willing to move to areas that were more progressive than the last one. They worked whatever odd jobs they could find to make an honest living. What they lacked in formal education, they made up in tenacity and wisdom.

They taught us about Jim Crow laws so we would be prepared for life. These laws were racist state and local laws that enforced racial segregation in Southern states. Thousands of black people moved to northern, mid-west and western states as part of The Great Migration. These states did not have these racist laws and offered a better way of life. The majority of Dad’s relatives were in Chicago or Ohio and the majority of MaDear’s relatives were in Mississippi. Since we were living in Tennessee, we needed to know about these laws. The Jim Crow laws were enforced until the civil rights movement fought to gain equal rights for black people. Protests and legal battles brought national attention to the differences in how black and white people were treated.

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I believed in my parents. We lived together every day and I observed their behavior. They were my living examples.  In spite of economic hardships and racial oppression, they remained hopeful. Dad served honorably in WWII and was not able to obtain meaningful employment to provide for his family. In spite of this, he continued to engage with people and look for other opportunities. MaDear was his source of strength and support. They had standards for their home and did not allow negative influences or behaviors to occupy the family’s space.  The racial oppression we experienced as a black family did not represent the opinions of the majority of people. People are influenced by negative behavior or positive behavior. Sometimes it’s easier to sway to the negative and give up. MaDear and Dad never gave up. They chose the positive behavior. I didn’t know it at the time but they had a positive mindset and mentality. They were giving us the best gift that allowed us to be successful and pass that success to our children. We don’t allow our circumstances to define who we are.

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