Throughout my career, I encountered too many people who were struggling to survive domestic abuse, child abuse, rape, alcohol and other drug abuse, human trafficking, mental illness and suicide attempts. This article does not pertain to people struggling with mental illness. This article is about my encounter with some abusers who made a choice to abuse and how survivors are affected. Research indicates these unhealthy behaviors from abusers can lead to flawed thinking and actions. These behaviors can be passed down to future generations and the cycle continues. No one should remain in these unhealthy situations. There are many resources for professional help for the survivors and abusers.
Abuse is not limited to people living in poverty. They may exhibit more risk factors based on their environment and may have fewer resources. Some people who are poor become accustomed to a lifestyle that involves violence and other abuse, incarceration, poor health outcomes, social isolation and homelessness. Never give up hope! You have the power to choose and prevail over your situation. As a teenager, I lived in a housing project for three years and witnessed many of these unhealthy behaviors. These behaviors lead to a downward spiral. My family and I chose not to let where we live determine how we were going to live our life. Many other people living in the housing project felt the same way. We did not allow negative behaviors in our environment to rob us of our peace and joy. We had a choice and bloomed where we were planted, looked forward to the future, and never lost hope!
It’s possible to cultivate more personal growth when people recognize and rid themselves of harmful relationships and behaviors. A person’s thoughts, feelings, social relationships and behaviors can influence their health. A person with an unhealthy behavior is toxic and can lead others down the wrong path and ruin their life. If you’re in this situation, have the courage to change. Imagine how different your life and the life of your future generations can be.
I know that change is difficult but people who are abused or abusing can change. Professional help is available if needed. Sometimes, our habits and behaviors are our own worst enemy. A person must want to change and make a commitment to do so. A lot of factors behind unhealthy behaviors are learned attitudes and feelings. Be true to yourself and ask yourself if this is how you want to live? Reaching out for help is the first step!
Choose to tell the truth about your situation then commit to make changes. The truth cleanses, heals and restores confidence. You have to tell the truth in order to be helped. Choose to rid yourself of unhealthy behaviors and live a peaceful life. Surround yourself with people who will help build you up and treat you with dignity and respect. When toxic people are out of your life, you will find room to make wiser decisions and prevail over poverty! If you are the abuser, when you recognize and stop toxic behaviors, you have the power to make wise decisions and prevail over poverty.
Help is available regardless of where you live. I added some national resources listed on the internet. Other national, state and local resources are readily available on the internet and in your community. If you are in a toxic situation don’t delay in seeking help. Have the courage to reach out for the help. You are worthy and can prevail over unhealthy behaviors!
Some National Resources
Child Abuse- 1-800-422-4453
Elder Abuse-1-800-490-8505
Domestic Violence-1-800-799-7233
Drug Abuse-1-877-586-6231
Alcohol Abuse -1-877-586-6231
National Substance and Mental Health (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACOA): 1-800 358 3456
National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, Inc. (NCADD): 1 (800) NCA-CALL (622-2255).
Narcotics Anonymous –(818) 773-9999. This self-help fellowship of men and women offers support for those who struggle with drug use and wish to quit.
Veterans Crisis Line- 1-800-273-8255 and press (1). Support for hearing impaired- 1-800-799-4889.
Suicide Prevention-1-800-273-8255
Hot line for domestic abusers-1-800-799-7233/TTY for hearing impaired 1-800-787-3224
Human Trafficking-1-888-373-7888
Rape and Incest National Network (RAINN) Crisis Hotline: 1-800-656-4673.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-6264
Francie Mae. April 2, 2020.