Even with parents to guide me, I still made many mistakes and made poor choices along life’s journey. I was still finding my way. The road out of poverty seemed too long. I took some shortcuts and hidden roads. These roads were leading me down the wrong path. I received spiritual spankings and got back on the long road. The long road allowed me to be the CEO of Francie Mae. The hidden opportunities allowed me to understand, be compassionate toward others and to be a voice for the poor. There was a purpose in my poverty.
At college, I met students from all over the United States. They were from wealthy, middle income and low income families. I met poor students but never met a student that lived in absolute poverty. For the first time, I began to feel ashamed of my upbringing and kept it hidden. I didn’t feel good enough. I did well in college and had many friends but secretly felt like I was on the outside looking in.I learned to work through these feelings so I could receive the joy God promised me.
Most college students attended off campus parties and mingled with other people, some were students, and some were not. I was no exception. I had to fight off an aggressive male. MaDear played baseball as a teenager and was hit in the eye by a ball while at bat. She told me to watch out for balls thrown my way. Dad taught me to think before reacting and use what was around me.I was being thrown a curve ball and had to hit it where it was going to be. I was pushed down on the bed and waited for the curve ball, then struck.I walked all my life and had strong legs. The power of my legs hurled a much stronger male into a wall. I took a hidden road and almost got lost.
After college, I chose to work at a hospital that served the underserved population. I was a registered nurse and trained at Hubbard Hospital with doctors and medical students who attended Meharry Medical College. I began dating one of the medical students and helped him with his studies. He was from awealthy family from out of stateand shared he wasn’t really interested in being a doctor. He enjoyed working on his small expensive sports car. Both his parents were professionals and so was his sister. He felt he had no choice but to follow the path his parents chose for him. He invited me to attend his medical school graduation. I accepted and looked forward to meeting his family. He proudly introduced me to this father, mother, and sister then took his place among the graduates. His parents asked me some questions while sizing me up. They asked me if I had been a member of the Jack and Jill while growing up. I heard of this organization that seemed to cater to black wealthier people, but I was not a member. Afterwards, his parents and sister totally ignored me. I had no plans to marry their son, but they didn’t want me to associate with him. This was the second time that I didn’t pass the brown paper bag test. I was beneath their social class and judged because I was from a poor family. I don’t believe this was the intent of Jack and Jill, but they used it as a form of discrimination. After graduation, I said my goodbyes to him and wished him the best. I was college educated, a professional and earning my own money. I was determined to succeed, but theroad took another turn.
In life, humans want acceptance and are disappointed by rejection. I was rejected by my own race of people. Without realizing it, I allowed this situation to affect my self- esteem, and I didn’t make good choices. I was ashamed of my background, and I was trying to survive in a judgmental world. For the first time, even though I was a college graduate and had a professional career, I felt I was not good enough. I let Satan live rent free in my mind. I was not attending church on a regular basis and began questioning my faith in God. My peace was being robbed, and I had no joy. I met a young man who seemed to accept me for who I was. I decided that I was tired of dating and made a decision to get married. My two and a half years of marriage were the darkest years of my life, but they were also the joyous years because my two beautiful daughters were born. I took a shortcut but got back on the long road.
Francie Mae. August 30, 2024.
My books
The Tangled Web and The Foot Locker
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